Navigating Long-Distance Relationships While Working Abroad
As October comes to a close, I’ve been reflecting on the time I spent with Nicholas. We started in Naples, then spent a week soaking up the beauty of the Amalfi Coast, and followed it up with a week in Split, Croatia. But what really stands out from this time together isn’t just the incredible destinations — it’s how we’ve managed to maintain a strong connection, even while navigating long-distance and balancing demanding careers.
It’s hard to believe we’ve been together for 19 years now. Yes, we met in our 20s, and over the years, it feels like we’ve grown up together. Interestingly, I’ve had people assume we met in high school, probably because I still get carded at the grocery store (guess that’s a compliment, right?).
While I’m working remotely abroad, Nicholas is back in the Bay Area, buried in spreadsheets and managing complex financial data. I like to joke that his job often revolves around reminding people that you can’t spend half a million dollars if you don’t actually have it. But, in all seriousness, we both approach our work with a lot of dedication and focus, despite the distance between us.
So, how do we make a long-distance relationship work when we’re juggling careers, travel, and time zones? Here’s what we’ve found keeps us connected:
1. Consistent Communication
We prioritize staying in touch every day. Whether it’s a quick “good morning” or “good night,” these small gestures make a big difference, especially with the time zone differences. I’ve been using Airalo for my eSIM while traveling, though we often switch over to WhatsApp when connectivity issues pop up. It’s not always perfect, but it’s enough to keep us in sync.
2. Scheduled Conversations
We’ve also set aside specific times for longer, more meaningful conversations. Weekends are our go-to for a deeper catch-up, but we also make time for a 30-minute daily check-in — even if it’s just to talk about our day. We’ve found that my late evenings tend to be the best time for these calls, given the time difference between us.
3. Visits & Shared Experiences
After a week on the Amalfi Coast, we spent another week together in Split, Croatia. It was a great reminder of how important it is to share experiences in person, even when we’re both working. Traveling together provides a much-needed balance to our relationship and gives us quality time to reconnect.
4. The Little Things That Keep Us Connected
It’s not just the big moments that matter, but also the small, thoughtful actions that help us maintain our bond:
Nicholas takes time out of his busy schedule to meet with our niece and help her navigate college scholarship options.
I handle the logistics — booking accommodations, researching excursions, and finding co-working spaces for when he joins me.
Nicholas is also always thinking of me — picking up winter clothes I forgot to pack or grabbing something I need for a change in season.
The Deeper Conversations
Of course, the logistics are just the surface. We also make space for the more serious conversations that are part of any relationship. And while we sometimes have to table these deeper talks until we’re together in person, we’ve learned to be patient and give each other the time and space needed for those more meaningful discussions.
In a world where distance, time zones, and busy schedules can often create barriers, we’ve learned that consistent communication, thoughtful gestures, and mutual commitment are the foundation of a strong, long-distance relationship. Even while managing our careers, personal goals, and the logistics of travel, we’ve found that these small, intentional actions keep us close.